Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Drop Dead Ted

'Ted' is the latest creation from the fertile but twisted imagination of Seth MacFarlane, whose subversive brand of nothing-is-sacred humor is all too familiar to legions of 'Family Guy' and 'American Dad' fans.  As we all know, the Teddy Bear can be one of the most treasured possessions of any little boy (or girl), and they often serve as the first friend with which--I mean, with whom--they form a close personal bond.  While kids often 'communicate' with their stuffed animals or rubber & plastic dolls, the premise of 'Ted' is that this teddy bear can actually talk (no shit!), and that he and his now 35-year old owner (played by 'Marky Mark' Wahlberg) are buds in their arrested adulthood.  From this preposterous premise, comedic tomfoolery ensues.

Imagine the cute Snuggles fabric softener bear with a potty mouth and you'll begin to get an idea of what 'Ted' is like.  Voiced by Seth MacFarlane himself, Ted sounds and acts just like Peter Griffin, the fat obnoxious patriarch of FOX's hit animated series 'Family Guy.'  Behaving in ways most unbecoming of teddy bears, I may never look at teddy bears the same way again thanks to Ted.  You see, Ted is a foul-mouthed, bong-smoking, whoremongering, owner-abusing sexist pig (um, bear) of the highest order.  But damn it, 'Ted' is also unapologetically and at times hysterically funny, sprinkled throughout with MacFarlane's trademark irreverent and self-deprecating humor with numerous references to popular geek-chic culture.  While 'Family Guy' gave us Star Wars parodies, 'Ted' paid homage to that '80's classic of sci-fi camp, 'Flash Gordon.'  Cue 'Queen' music please.

'Ted' is an unlikely 'odd couple' comedy, in the tradition of such movies as 'Down and Out in Beverly Hills,' 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles,' and more recent examples like 'Dinner with Schmucks' and 'Due Date.'  The story is a familiar one.  There's the more-or-less normal but down-on-his-luck joe, in this case Mark Wahlberg's manchild John Bennett.  Then there's the obnoxious person who makes his life a living hell, in this case a cute cuddly teddy bear who becomes less cute and cuddly every time he opens his mouth or does something offensive.  While John is trying to 'grow up,' become more responsible and lead a 'normal' life with his gorgeous and successful girlfriend Lori, played by That 70's Show's Mila Kunis (who's also a regular voice in 'Family Guy'), Ted somehow always manages to muck things up.  But in the end, things invariably smooth over because Ted is a lovable teddy bear with a big heart, even if he lacked the essential body part required to perform certain unmentionable acts implied in the movie.

One thing I like about movies are cameos, and in 'Ted' there are aplenty.  There's 'Flash Gordon' himself, Sam Jones, of course.  Tom Skerritt appeared in photos and at a wedding.  'Green Lantern' Ryan Reynolds is the gay partner of one of Bennett's coworkers, played by Patrick Warburton of 'Seinfeld,' 'Rules of Engagement' and 'The Tick.'  Though not a cameo per se, Giovanni Ribisi was perfectly cast as a creepy psycho teddy bear stalker who dances to the music of '80's teen icon Tiffany.  The pleasant surprise cameo award, though, has to go to jazz and blues crooner Norah Jones, who looks and sounds as fabulous as she did 10 years ago when she won over my heart with her wonderfully wistful debut album 'Come Away with Me.'  You picked a good one to duet with, Seth.  While 'Ted' isn't quite perfect, it mined enough comic gold to earn an:

8 out of 10

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